she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
