he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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