She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
