Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
