My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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