If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
