He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
