Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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