is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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