Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
