I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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