i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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