I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize