I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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