yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
