I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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