redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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