Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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