just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
