he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
