Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
