"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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