Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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