he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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