So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize