Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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