I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
