youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
