I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
