they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
