im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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