I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
