yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well you can't waste a boner
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize