we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
