she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What drink are we having for lunch?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
