I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
