You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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