I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
and you fell through a lawn chair
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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