Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
