It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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