at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
