4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it hurts more in the daytime
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
