is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
