I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
