ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
