You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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