I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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