dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
