You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wish there were birth control emojis
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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