Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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