I'm really into asian looking animals
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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