I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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