the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
