You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
