he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
