whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
