you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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