seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
