im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
