using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
