your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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