Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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