so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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